The ill thought out remarks by Presidential spokesman, Garba
Shehu, to the effect that rodents had damaged the President’s office, forcing
him to work from home should not come as a surprise to discerning Nigerians and
neither should we blame Mr. Shehu for the infantile lie...
You see, once the decision had been reached at the highest
levels to be less than transparent about President Muhammadu Buhari’s health
situation, there was really nothing much that his media aides could do.
If I was Garba Shehu, what I would have said is that the
President has a backlog of work and so had to cancel FEC and focus fully on
clearing this backlog from home! It would not be a lie being that the President
is always on call 24/7.
As a Presidential spokesman, lying is the last thing you
want to do. Your job is to find creative, but not dishonest, ways to make the
bitter truth palatable to the general public. Lack of creativity is a greater
liability to a Presidential spokesman than lack of funds.
And the remark itself (“Following the three months’ period
of disuse, rodents have caused a lot of damage to the furniture and the air
conditioning units”) reminds me of the iconic movie, Of Mice and Men.
Of Mice and Men is a 1937 book by John Steinbeck, which got
made into a movie. It tells the tale of of two California migrants workers who
roam from town to town during the Great Depression in search of greener
pastures.
How fitting that the lie told by Mr. Shehu should dovetail
into Steinbeck’s classic.
Just like in Of Mice and Men, we have a migrant President
who moves back and forth from London to Abuja. And again like Steinbeck’s
classic, he does so in a depression.
The only difference is that while George Milton and Lennie
Small were the victims of a depression caused by others, President Muhammadu
Buhari is not a victim but a perpetrator of the fastest negative turnaround of
an economy from the third fastest growing economy in the world to an economy in
recession.
There are many other parallels one can draw from the movie
and the comedy the Buhari administration is unleashing on the nation, but one
has to be careful in drawing attention to them especially in these days that
the military is scouring social media for “anti-government and anti-military
information”.
But I just wonder how Garba could have said ?”Rodents have
caused a lot of damage to the President’s office” with a straight face! Really
Garba Shehu! There should be limits to propaganda.
It is only in Nigeria that “rodents” will chase a lion away
from his den! Garba, please you should be too decent for this, leave lies for
Lai Mohammed! If President Muhammadu Buhari is not strong enough to go to the
office, simply say the truth and shame the devil.
I have been in the President of Nigeria’s office. It is
cleaned everyday. I also had an office in the villa and I traveled abroad for a
long period and nothing happened to my office.
The Presidency has projected President Buhari as an
anti-corruption crusader with strong integrity and credibility. Such infantile
lies as this rat story rubbishes that image! It also portrays the Buhari
administration as a government severely deficient in intelligence!
Almost every international news agency carried the
ridiculous story in a way that belittled Nigeria. BBC, AFP, RFI and even China
Xinhua News!
Worldwide the Muhammadu Buhari administration has turned
Nigeria into an international joke because of an inept President and his inept
aides!
I mean it is just clear that the President still needs to
recover and that he only returned because the pressure from Charly Boy’s
#ReturnorResign group had become unbearable, especially when they announced
that they had gotten a permit from the Metropolitan Police in London to protest
outside Abuja House.
Of all things to use as an excuse, it has to be rats! If you
are wondering why the rats in your city have reduced, wonder no more. They have
all relocated to seek greener pastures at Aso Rock!
But on a serious note though, President Yar’adua left
Nigeria on November 23, 2009 and did not return until February 10, 2010.
Thereafter he was at the Presidential Villa until he died on May 5, 2010. For a
period of 6 months, his office was vacant until Dr. Goodluck Jonathan succeeded
him. In all that time, rodents never destroyed his office. Which just makes you
wonder the type of rodents that exist in Aso Rock under President Muhammadu
Buhari the man who promised Nigerians change but ended up giving those who
voted him as President chains!
As for the Nigerian military who will now monitor social
media for “anti-government information”, I can only say what a lovely change!
Did I hear you say chains!
Can any comment be more “anti-government” than this comment
made by Buhari on May 15, 2012 “by the grace of God, the dog and the baboon
would all be soaked in blood”? And can any comment be anti Nigerian than this
comment made by the same man on July 25, 2015 “The constituents, for example,
gave me 97% cannot in all honesty be treated on some issues with constituencies
that gave me 5%”?
So funny when the father of hate speech and the king pin of
anti-government talk now wants to deal with those who have not even come close
to doing what he has done!
And after His misspeak on why the President had to work from
home, ?Garba Shehu followed up with a statement warning that the Presidency
will henceforth not tolerate harsh words being used on President Muhammadu
Buhari and said “calling Buhari an enemy of Nigeria was in extremely bad
taste”.
Is this not the same Buhari that said on May 15, 2012 and I
quote “the biggest Boko Haram is the Federal Government.” Buhari called the
government of Goodluck Jonathan a Boko Haram government without providing proof
and now complains about being criticized! Mr. President, buy a mirror and
arrest the person you see in it as an example of your zero tolerance for “harsh
words”!
These shenanigans are annoying enough, but to add salt to
injury, along comes Yahaya Bello!
To show how useless governance has become under the APC,
Yahaya Bello, a state Governor declares a public holiday to celebrate President
Muhammadu Buhari’s return!
Now, I sympathize with President Buhari, but aren’t public
holidays meant to be for events pertaining to a nation’s history? President
Buhari has been a resident of the U.K. for over a hundred days, has he ever
known the U.K. to proclaim a public holiday because the Queen returned from
hospital?
Our army killed at least 347 Shiite men, women, children and
infants, our Air Force killed 119 people at the Rann IDP camp in a mistaken
bombing. We did not declare any national mourning. Yet we declare a public
holiday for Buhari’s return! This is the height of sycophancy!
Well, enough about the Presidency’s ineptitude and comedic
behavior, let me change the mood of this piece and enter second base.
Someone tell Oby Ezekwesili that it is hypocritical to
complain about a soup you helped cook just because you were not given your
share!
She was used to bring down a good man and thereafter dumped
and now she is bitter and she wants to feign that she is one of us who are
genuinely opposing a dictatorial and clueless government for patriotic reasons!
Where are her fellow #BringBackOurGirls colleagues? Are they
not now holding very, very, very juicy positions in President Muhammadu
Buhari’s government? She is a woman scorned because her lover (APC) enjoyed her
pleasures but refused to marry her. Now she wants to use Nigerians to get her
revenge! We are not that foolish!
Imagine Oby Ezekwesili complaining of President Muhammadu
Buhari’s “missed opportunity”. She is one of those who helped him get the
opportunity to miss an opportunity!
It is an insult to our sensibilities for this woman to start
wailing like she is doing! Has she forgotten when she was giving keynote
speeches at All Progressive Congress events where she demonized former
President Jonathan and deified Buhari by calling him a “discipline instilling”
leader on March 7, 2014?
Did it occur to her at that event that she was empowering
the very person she is now denouncing?
People like Oby are like the bush rat that Chinua Achebe
wrote about. They bite you and blow breeze on your wounds so you won’t know the
damage they have caused. If Oby wants to know who is responsible for bringing
Buhari to power, I can buy her a mirror. I assure her it won’t be a pretty
sight!
Oby Ezekwesili is a sanctimonious hypocrite who likes to
criticize but does not like to be criticized. She once threatened to report me
to then President Jonathan when I responded to her criticism, as if Dr.
Jonathan “gives a damn” about her opinions! The sad thing is that everybody,
but especially her Southeastern kith and kin, knows she was used and dumped by
people who know only too well her real nature. I suspect that her bitterness is
that she could not attain the heights Ngozi Okonjo Iweala has attained and is
still attaining.
Now she continues to prance about giving subdued messages to
the Buhari administration because she knows that if she unleashes on them like
she unleashed on Jonathan she will be taught the difference between a democrat
and a dictator! Oby, in case you do not know, you are a figure of scorn in the
Southeast zone where you come from and considered a Quisling in the other zones
of the federation.
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