It is very simple; once you stop talking, you start making assumptions. From then on, it is very simple to predict what will happen. communication
Fights, arguments and distrust and eventually separation will result when you and your partner stop communicating.
Sadly, most couples never really settle down to take notice that a lack of communication is the root of their problems. They readily blame the usual suspects; infidelity, lying and abuse.
If you are serious about making it work, we present six tips to help you and your spouse improve communication in marriage.
Agree Before anything else, you and your spouse have to agree that you will work on your communication together. It prevents discord along the way because one partner is reluctant and feels pressured.
For best results, you both have to want a better relationship.
Set a time Healthy communication is something that should occur normally but when you are trying to cultivate it, you need extra effort.
Pick a comfortable time when both of you are relaxed. After you eat dinner and put the kids to bed is always a good option.
Keep your mobile devices and the TV out of the way and just concentrate on your partner. For a change of scenery you and your partner can take a walk or drive around the neighborhood.
Don’t hold back The place of communication is not an atmosphere where your guards are up. Let your emotions flow freely as you express yourself.
If you hold back, you defeat the purpose of communication entirely. Instead you succeed in sweeping a lot of issues under the carpet.
Come clean One of the goals of healthy communication is that you and your spouse would be able to find a middle ground on issues that affect your marriage.
To achieve this, you have to be the bigger person. Come clean about your previous wrongs and apologize. Admitting that you have made mistakes creates the best environment for forgiveness and closure.
This way, you and your partner can move forward and break new ground.
Mind your language As you utilize all these tips, your choice of words and your tone are very important. Be careful not to attack your partner and start an unnecessary argument.
You can avoid this by paying attention to how you express yourself. Use ‘I’ more instead of ‘You’.
For example, instead of saying ‘You have not been living up to your responsibilities as a father’ try ‘I feel that the kids do not see enough of you and the burden of parenting can be very overwhelming’.
The latter is less accusatory and allows you to express your concerns calmly. It is also less likely to generate a defensive response from your spouse.
Keep at it To achieve anything you have to be deliberate and disciplined. The turning point in communication is not when you do it a couple of times but when it becomes a lifestyle.
This takes practice but in no time, you would be chatting away sharing your expectations and goals.
What are you waiting for? Start talking !
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