Like women, men don't always say exactly what
they're feeling precisely when they feel it. But guys don't have to say
much to show you what they're thinking...
That's because unconscious body language signals can be extremely telling, says Patti Wood, a body language expert with more than 30 years of experience and author of
So, in the early stages of a new relationship (like
when you first meet an online date), look out for the following signs
to get a sense of what he's thinking.
1. His pupils are huge.
Either you're in a super-dark place, or this subtle signal means he's
into you. "Dilation is a brain response that occurs when you like and
are attracted to something," Wood says.
2. His eyebrows are raised. People
tend to use this subconscious expression to help open their eyes when
they like what they see. If he raises his brows ever so slightly while
you're talking, it means he's interested in whatever you're saying.
3. He shows you his front teeth. "Guys stop smiling like this around the age of 5 — unless they're really
happy," Wood says. He might not show off a toothy grin while casually
flirting, but on a really awesome date when he's having loads of fun?
Look for teeth: "When he feels really happy, he's not covering that up,"
Wood says.
4. He smiles above the mouth.
Real smiles extend well beyond the mouth: They lift the forehead and
give you slightly squinty eyes. If his smile involves his whole face, it
means you're genuinely affecting him in a good way.
5. He licks his lips in a cute (not creepy) way. When you're attracted to someone, your mouth produces extra saliva, Wood says. In response, he might quickly lick his lips or press them together.
6.He locks eyes with your face — not your eyes. You might think that a guy who is totally enamored by you will find it hard to peel his eyes away. But now that everyone is used to being glued to their phones, nonstop eye contact can make people feel uncomfortable. So, new rule: If he spends about 80 percent of your interaction looking from your eyes to your nose and lips, he's into you, Wood says.
7. He takes a deep breath when he sees you. Yes,
men do require oxygen. But when he subconsciously takes a deep breath —
he'll pull in his stomach and puff out his chest — it's a subconscious
way to make his upper body look broader and his waist look smaller, two
qualities that make him look more fit and (from an evolutionary
perspective) more desirable, Wood says. In other words, he's into you
and he's trying to attract you.
8. He leans toward you when you talk.
In a noisy bar, this sign might not hold much weight. But when he can
physically hear you perfectly well and leans in anyway, it means he's
interested in what you have to say — and you, in general.
9. He puts his hands on his hips with his elbows out to the sides. Because
this stance takes up more space than standing with your arms against
your sides, Wood says this is a male power signal that guys use to show
physical superiority over other guys. It means he's seeking attention.
And if he does it while he's angled toward you? He's seeking it from
you.
10. He touches your knee ("Soft pants!") or tucks your hair behind your ear.
When he initiates physical contact under the guise of another reason,
it's a test to see how you respond to his touch, Wood says. Because
touch is a tool he uses to test your limits, it could mean he's only
interested in sex, Wood says. If he really likes you, though, he might
pull back extra-slowly and smile sweetly as he does it, which means he
wants to take the time to get closer to you.
11. He sits with his legs spread. Because
this position exposes his man parts, which are full of sensitive nerve
endings, it's a vulnerable position that could mean he's willing to put
himself out there (literally and emotionally) to get to know you.
12. He angles his pelvis toward you. Because
the pelvis is overtly sexual, Wood says, it often signals sexual
interest — or lack thereof. If he angles his hips away from you, it's
probably the latter.
13. He points his toes toward you.
Because the feet are involved in the fight-or-flight response that
kicks in when you're in danger, they're largely controlled by the
unconscious mind — and can be very telling in social interactions. "The
feet tend to point where the heart wants to go," Wood says. Of course,
timing is super important in interpreting the feet: If you're talking to
a guy who seems interested, you touch his arm, and then see his feet
angle away from you, the context says he's no longer interested.
14. He crosses his legs.
If he crosses them in a way that turns his torso and upper body away
from you, he might be disinterested. But if he crosses his legs away and
turns the rest of his body toward you, it could just mean that he's
shy, depending on the guy.
15. He sort of shuffles toward you while you're talking. He obviously wants to get closer to you.
16. He talks to you without facing you. Wood
says this could be a sign he's keeping his options open. But don't rush
to judge a great conversationalist just because he chats you up while
he faces forward. If he makes an effort to find a common thread or asks
you lots of questions, his body language may reflect his personality
(shy), and he could actually be totally enthralled by you.
17. He touches his throat. The
throat represents communication and vulnerability, Wood says. If he
reaches up to touch it during your interaction, he's interested in you
and worried about coming across well. But again, context can play a role
here. If you're talking to Mr. Slick, a throat touch could signal
dishonesty. So feel him out, and look for other signs on this list
before you go reassure him.
18. When he holds your hand, he presses his palm against yours.
This kind of full-fledged hand-holding signifies a desire to connect.
The same goes for interlocking fingers, while an arched palm means he's
scared or may be holding something back (literally).
19. He grazes your forearm while he's talking. The
message is loud and clear: He wants your attention, be it to impress
you or to make sure you're listening — because he wants to be heard.
20. He walks beside you. If
he's constantly two steps ahead of you, it means he's more concerned
about himself than you, Wood says. Unless he's leading you through a
scary or crowded space, he should adjust his pace to match yours.
21. He plays with his glass. Wood says this can be a sign of nervousness — or attraction. A caress could suggest he wants to touch you.
No comments: