The chemistry is off the charts. He
checks off all your boxes. She is everything you ever wanted in a
partner. But are you compatible?
According to marriage counselors,
compatibility is key to a life-long partnership.
“Compatibility is more important
than love ― believe it or not ― and goes hand in hand with respect and
communication at the top,” therapist Susan Pease Gadoua told The Huffington
Post.
Below, nine signs you and your
partner are compatible.
1. You share the same core values.
“When the going gets tough, like it
does in all relationships, knowing that you share the same core values makes
difficult decisions easier because you both have the same inner compass. Core
values are the foundation of a strong relationship.” ― Megan Fleming,
clinical psychologist and sex and relationship therapist
2. Your partner finds your
quirks endearing.
“To be great partners, you cannot
expect perfection. Everyone has their quirks and flaws, and to be healthy
together you need to make sure you see these imperfections as endearing.
Marriages break up over an accumulation of ‘small stuff.’ Do what you can to
love unconditionally.” ― Sherrie Campbell, licensed psychologist
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Being totally yourself around your
partner — warts and all — is a good sign you are compatible.
3. You come out the
other side of an argument in one piece.
“If you’re in the romantic bubble
and haven’t yet had a fight or disagreement, you’re probably still on your best
behavior. This isn’t bad ― and, in fact, it’s supposed to happen this way ― but
the truth is, you haven’t really had your relationship tested and you may still
be relating on a superficial level.” ― Susan Pease Gadoua, licensed
therapist with expertise in marriage and divorce
4. Your partner is the first person
you want to share good and bad news with.
“Got a promotion? Won the lottery?
No cavities? Your ideal partner will be the person who will be your biggest
cheerleader and want to celebrate these victories without jealousy or
scorekeeping. But also, in every life a little rain must fall. Compatible
partners feel safe enough to splash in the puddles with one another. It takes a
great deal of trust to disclose vulnerable, painful elements of your life to
someone so important to you, but the strongest couples can withstand this
strain and provide support while working toward a solution. If you can’t let
your significant other help you when you’re down, how close are you, really?” ―
Ryan Howes, clinical psychologist
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Your partner should be your biggest
fan, and the first person you go to with any type of news.
5. You have similar
upbringings.
“While we all love the romance of
‘Pretty Woman,’ shared backgrounds tend to be an immediate way couples bond and
find compatibility. There is a shared experience when you both come from a
divorced family or an intact one, if you both grew up in the same house or
moved around a lot or if you grew up in middle or upper class homes. When
someone has a similar upbringing, there tends to be a more intimate
understanding, enhanced familiarity and comfort in a relationship. Comfort
lends itself toward feelings of compatibility.” ― Anne Crowley, licensed
psychologist
6. Your interests overlap and
you have fun together.
“People who play together stay
together. Healthy couples are great playmates and enjoy being active together.
Being active is a time to be best friends, to be outside and to be together.”
― Sherrie Campbell
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Go ahead, soak up that Vitamin D —
doing activities together outside is great for your relationship.
7. You both take responsibility and
apologize.
“I can’t tell you the number of
couples who enter therapy saying their life is miserable because of something
their partner does, and that once the partner changes, they will be happy.
Healthy couples assess their own contribution first, and only point to their
partner’s flaws once they’ve taken responsibility for their role in the
conflict, minor as it may be.” ― Ryan Howes
8. You’re committed to growing
together.
“The man or woman you marry today
will not be the same person in a year, five years or ten years. The happiest
couples are those committed to their own respective personal growth as well as
their growth as a couple. Your relationship is a place to heal any unfinished
business from childhood.” ― Megan Fleming
9. You have similar views on drugs
and alcohol.
“People tend to be more compatible
when they have things in common. This holds true for how much or little one
imbibes. When you drink socially, there is an ease of compatibility, an
immediate opportunity to hang out ― ‘let’s meet up over happy hour.’ If neither
of you drink, there is no awkwardness of drinking in front of the other, or
being pressured to drink. However, when one person drinks more than another, or
uses other substances like marijuana or illicit drugs, this impacts
compatibility because someone gets left behind.” ― Anne Crowley
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Source: Huffingtonpost
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