Our
resident Dude recently revealed 13 things men wish women knew about sex. Like
everything our beloved Dude writes, his post was eye-opening and informative.
It’s not news that men and women approach sex differently….
…but he talked about the details that sometimes aren’t so easy to open up about. Things like what guys are literally thinking during sex, what makes sex good and what can ruin the moment in 5 seconds flat. I’m here now to pay it forward to the fellas. I’ve talked to my girlfriends and together we’ve come up with the 13 things we’re dying to tell the men in our sex lives. Sometimes it’s hard to find the words to express ourselves in the moment, but sharing is caring. Here’s what we wish all men knew about sex.
…but he talked about the details that sometimes aren’t so easy to open up about. Things like what guys are literally thinking during sex, what makes sex good and what can ruin the moment in 5 seconds flat. I’m here now to pay it forward to the fellas. I’ve talked to my girlfriends and together we’ve come up with the 13 things we’re dying to tell the men in our sex lives. Sometimes it’s hard to find the words to express ourselves in the moment, but sharing is caring. Here’s what we wish all men knew about sex.
1. It’s not that we don’t
like giving blowjobs, you just need to make sure your junk is clean. I’m a huge
fan of both giving and receiving oral sex. Men are really vocal about how they
won’t go down on women who “smell funny” or “taste weird” — but women are
expected to be enthusiastic about giving blowjobs regardless of the
circumstances. Make our job (teehee) easier and make sure you’ve taken a shower
recently. Manscaping, to any extent, is also always appreciated.
2. You’re not
going to break us. Sometimes rough sex is just what we want.
3. Sometimes we
just want to go to sleep afterwards. Stereotypes dictate that women are huge
fans of pillow talks and cuddling. Want to know the truth, though? Sometimes we
also just want to roll over to our side of the bed and pass the eff out. Sex is
hard work and I have to be up for my 8AM class tomorrow.
4. Please stop ramming
your penis into my cervix. I know it makes you feel like a manly man to go that
deep, but it really hurts and kills the mood.
5. Clean sheets are always
appreciated. You know what’s really sexy? Walking into a guy’s room and seeing
his bed is completely clean. No piles of laundry, no weird stains, no food
wrappers. And if you actually took the time to make your bed? Oh lord, I’m weak
in the knees.
6. We want you to offer us a t-shirt to sleep in. In theory it’s
sexy to sleep in just a bra and underwear, but that’s totally not comfy. Unless
we’ve already fallen asleep naked, please offer us an oversize tee to snooze
in.
7. Ask before you do anything crazy. Facials? Butt sex? Deep throating?
Please ask loudly and clearly (and listen for an answer) before attempting any
of these polarizing moves.
8. Don’t make us feel awkward when something
embarrassing happens. We’re likely already mortified. Sex doesn’t always go to
plan. People fart and get muscle cramps and fall off the bed. Brush it off and
move on.
9. We’re telling our friends everything in the morning. It’s not cruel
gossip, it’s female bonding. You can bet your life savings that our friends
know about the Mickey Mouse shaped birthmark on your inner thigh, the way you
make a funny giggle when you come and that you named your penis.
10. Call or
text the next day. Unless it was a clear one night stand scenario, please be
decent enough to shoot a “thanks, that was fun” text the next day. Nothing
feels worse (except #4) than spending a fun night with a guy, getting your
hopes up and then never hearing from him again. Let us down easy.
11. The 4th
date rule is a lie. We might sleep with you on the first date. We might wait
until the 100th date. Assuming that there’s a predetermined date where you’re
magically going to get laid is basically setting yourself up for
disappointment.
12. If something’s not working for us and we tell you that you
can stop, don’t look so hurt. We’re not being mean, I promise. It’s just that
we don’t want you putting all this effort and energy into something that
definitely not getting us any closer to the finish line. Not every Cosmo sex
tip is going to be the one that gets us off. Trial and error, baby.
13. Oral
sex takes practice. Similar to #12, oral sex is extremely trial and error.
Every woman is different, what worked for your ex might not work for us, yadda
yadda. Just be prepared for some constructive criticism.
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