Dear Paul and Peter,
I have just been informed that one of you unilaterally announced
the ‘split’ of the crisis-prone P-Square. That’s an act of
self-determination. It is treasonable and worthy of classification as
terrorism.
I recall that your late mother paid me a visit at my Daura home a
couple of years ago. We shared dinner and discussed late into the night.
And we agreed that the unity of P-Square would forever remain
non-negotiable.
My aides told me that you 'separated' sometime last year, tasted
uneventful solo musical careers, reconciled, and went back to making
great music. I missed the story. Nigerian newspapers conspired to leave
me in the dark by not doing cartoon impressions of the development. But
you can’t try that secessionist stunt on my wide-awake watch.
You were made a group by fetal amalgamation. You were created twins. Your unity is a settled matter.
I am aware that your relationship has been dogged by rancor,
discord and spite for a long while. You barely manage to function as one
singing unit. Yet, you must endure the attrition and accept that you
have been trapped by fate. You must continue to collaborate and conjure
love songs from your shared bitterness.
None of you can go his separate way. You must stay together even
though your group can hardly agree on anything except that you both
mutually resent each other and can’t address the root cause of the
contention.
I am told both of you are talented dancers. You must quickly return
to the normal of hostile partnership. You don’t want my troops to teach
you a lesson in Python Dance.
-President and Commander-in-Chief
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